Showing posts with label 80's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 80's. Show all posts

Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Five Stages of Rock N Roll: Stage 1

Stage 1: 'F*CK YEAH MOTHERF*CKER!!'

   I was an angry, hateful teenager. I hated school, teachers, the students, their parents, my parents, organized religion...messy religion (haha) the good looking girls that shunned me, the ugly girls that thought they were good looking and who also shunned me as well as the jocks, preppies, math nerds, science nerds. art fags, drama fags, cowboys, rappers, goths, punk rockers, skin heads, cholos, and those guys that all they ever talked about were muscle cars, or guns. I was a stoner, metalhead, rocker, hessian (I never understood hessian, how are headbangers and german mercenaries from the 18th century alike?) and I even hated most of the other stoner-metalheads. 

   So I listened to angry music. Metallica (until they put out the Black Album) Megadeth, Anthrax, Slayer, among many others. Grew my hair long and wore black, experimented with drugs, got into some trouble with the law, never got laid, never had a girlfriend, never had a date, never went to a dance, didn't go to prom, never showed up at school for picture day. 

Highlights of Stage 1

  • Age 13: I had drank before but at 13 was the first time I got really drunk
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  • Age 14: started smoking cigarettes
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  • Age 14: Smoked weed
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  • Age 14: First time I was allowed to go with my cousins to the bars in Mexico. 

  • Age 15: First concert, Metallica w/Queensryche
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  • Age 15: Tried LSD, which became somewhat of a semi-regular habit.

  • Age 16: Was hanging out with a group of 20-something homeless drug addicts. I would often disappear for days at a time, sleeping under bridges or on church rooftops.

  •  Ran away from home at age 16/17 (can't remember now) to Santa Barbara , CA where I lived in a car with three people I didn't know.  While we were there we broke into a car, stole some dudes weed stash, went shopping while I watched the people I was with bounce an $800 check for groceries, and went to one of the dudes girlfriends house where, while he was talking to her in the house, I was "drafted" to sneak into the guest house to take the "money machine" - one of those big crystal water jugs full of change and bills. This financed our trip back to Phoenix.
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My first DUI at age 17


    I was a rotten kid. I hated myself, and everyone around me. I was impossible to keep control of. There was nothing you could do or say to me. You couldn't take away my shit, because I didn't have anything. You couldn't ground me, I would sneak out. 

   You could try knocking me around, but I would knock you right back. I never minded getting hurt or beat up a little, bruises and wounds heal. So the threat of physical punishment meant nothing to me. 
 
   The Way I saw it, everybody takes a beating sometime. - Henry Hill, from Goodfellas.


  Besides a certain amount of pain is good. It lets you know you're still alive. Sometimes you can be so helplessly depressed, that you'll believe that THE ONLY way to feel anything else is to experience pain. At least thats how I used to see it. I spent my fair share of time carving anarchy symbols and pentagrams on my forearms.
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   By the time I was 21, I had long been using alcohol and drugs to self medicate myself. When I was in hyperactive mode, alcohol or weed helped calm me down. When I was depressed or having the usual racing thoughts then alcohol killed all thought in my brain, like 'liquid meditation,' if you know what I mean. And if you know what I mean, then congrats because that means you are f*cking cool as hell. You're the Kitties Titties!

   But the thing with weed was that I never had any money because I could never hold down a job. Besides, I hate always having to 'score' all the time, and in the days before cell phones scoring weed could be a major pain in the ass. I tried growing it on a few occassions but that never worked. So if it was around I would smoke it, if I had money and the opportunity came along, I would buy. If a friend had some and was busting out with everyone else, count me in, but I never went out of my way for it, and alcohol is so much easier to take.  


   And of course there is the music....

  Back in the 80's my world revolved around Metallica. 'I celebrated their entire catalog.' For my money there was just no other band that was as hard, and fast, while still managing to remain melodic. "Master of Puppets" is a masterpiece. I loved the progressive tone of the album, 8 minute+ songs with three main riffs and at least two guitar solos. This was all lost with the Black Album, but we'll get to that in stage 2. Metal, and headbanging, moshing, thrashing on my guitar was the only way I could let out all the anger I was feeling.


   But why the hell are you so angry in Stage 1, When the Music is so F*kkin Cool?

   I was angry for a lot of reasons but besides the fact that your hormones are in overdrive, most of my anger had to do with being ostracized, left out, hunted, despised...


Home, I have no home, hunted, despised, living like an Animal!

   Years before I entered high school and my teenage years, my social fate was sealed as the oddball, the weird dude, the one who doesn't say much. The, "yeah he's alright but he's just a little..off, you know" 

   Stage 1 is where you really begin to realize this, but you are in denial of it. You still haven't accepted your fate by removing yourself of all labels and "types"... and by types, I mean that you no longer feel the need to have to be either a rocker or a jock, or a preppy, or a theater geek, whatever... 

   All you know is that your situation sucks and you don't how to fix it. The anger is a byproduct of this resistance to the way things are. And since it seems that the harder you try to fit in, the more you just stand out, there is only one thing to do...Smoke cigarettes, get drunk on cheap beer, get stoned on bad weed, and turn the music up louder than you secretly admit is reasonable, just so you can get a kick out of telling whoever asks you to turn it down, to f*ck off.

   I got kicked out of many public buses for not turning my walkman down. And I'm talking about the old ass walkmans, the ones that used 4 AA batteries instead of two. Now those f*kkers were noisy.

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Ok I've Covered A lot, So Let me Explain...

 
  The Five Stages of Rock

Stage 1: F*ck Yeah Motherf*cker!
  • Raging Hormones
  • Misplaced Aggression
  • Realization that the teenage social status boundaries have already been drawn
  • Accompanied by the realization that, that means you're pretty much screwed.
  • Cheap beer, bad sex (if you're lucky) good drugs. (if you're real lucky)
  • Kick ass tunes. 
Next Time: The Five Stages of Rock, Stage 2
 
 
 
 


 

Saturday, June 16, 2012

How 80's Hair Metal Almost Destroyed Rock Music

Dee Snider: Telling it like it is!

   I was a teenager in the 80's when the whole Hair Metal scene was at it's peak. I personally hated hair metal, I was more of a metal head. 

Me, sometime around 1987-88

   Ultimate Guitar's website appropriately called Hair Metal, "Cookie cutter, fast food rock." I frankly find it offensive that they even used the word metal when naming this genre.



                                   
  
Let's hate on Hair Metal some more shall we?


   In my opinion it was a great day when Nirvana finally came around to save rock music by putting a giant mirror to the face of Glam Metal so they could all realize just how ridiculous they looked, sounded, acted etc...


Old 80'S Monsters of Rock Commercial 


   All that emo crap thats out there now is music's modern day version of Hair Metal. Well I guess every generation has to have that one style of music that they'll feel ashamed about 30 years later.

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   Ok as a treat I'm posting the 1988 documentary film The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years. Directed by Penelope Spheeris, who would later go on to direct Waynes World, This film sums up what was going on back then better than anything else I could say. 

 If you have the time, I recommend watching it even for no other reason than to just make fun of it.

 

The Decline of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years - (1988) Full  Movie






Thursday, June 7, 2012

Tyler Durden, The Roaches in Your Ears, and My Favorite 80's Tampon Commericials

People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown - Chuck Palahniuk




“It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.”

    One of the things Tyler Durden is talking about is letting go. The idea of letting go can be difficult to understand. I would tell you that letting go can seem downright impossible, especially after a painful experience like a divorce, or death of a loved one.




  When you let go, you're really just accepting. Acceptance of the situation you are in, and of the present moment is what letting go really is. Until you can accept or 'let go' it's like you're trying to swim against a current...it's futile and a waste of time and energy. When you accept, you stop fighting against the current and go with the flow. Just like the current then helps move you forward, when you accept and let go the flow of life and the universe then assist you and help you move forward towards your goals.



   Here is what I've been told about acceptance. It's like this, If you broke an arm or leg, you have this knowing deep down inside that it will eventually heal. You accept the fact that yeah this sucks and its gonna hurt like hell for a while, and yeah it's gonna take some time to heal completely, and yeah it's not gonna be easy, but you accept that because you know thats what it takes to get better. 

   I had a fall last week and bruised my knee and got some cuts and scrapes on my leg and foot, and yeah its still a little sore but I have no doubt it will heal. And its not something I have to remind myself of either, its just a knowing I have inside.  I'm not denying the pain but I'm not dwelling on it either. That is a small example of acceptance.

  
   So if we could all apply that to the mental wounds we all suffer in life and all that other pscycho-babble, blah, blah, blah...you get the idea. I'm bored, lets talk about something else.




    The human mind's job is to solve problems. It's a very usefull tool to make it in the world today. However it is always active, it needs something to worry about, something to criticize, something to blame, etc... But I think that when you start identifying with your mind thats when you start getting into trouble. Confused? ok let me explain.




   It's been written by many people (including Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle) That we are not physical beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a physical experience. That being said, the body and mind are just tools needed in order to experience and be conscious and aware

   So as an exercise to step out of your mind and into what has been called that, "Gap between your thoughts" try to imagine instead of "I am my thoughts and my mind," which most people do, try instead to imagine, "I am that thing that is using the mind." Whatever you're looking at right now, stop and think about just what/who is actually doing the seeing? That is your real self.  I propose that the more you try to get in touch with that, the more we are able to make life work with us instead of against us.

   And yeah I know it aint easy. It's one of those, "easy for you to say" kind of things.


   But after all what do I know, I'm straight up mentally ill. You should definitely not believe anthing I say. I'm only trying to entertain.
Ok, now the moment you've been waiting for. If you're like me, at one time or another you've stopped what you're doing, cancelled your appointments and pondered over the following, "Gee, I wonder what kind of tampons, Courtney Cox used in the 1980's?"









Facing Your Own Personal El Guapo



Lucky Day: In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their El Guapo. For others, a lack of education might be their El Guapo. For us, El Guapo is a big, dangerous man who wants to kill us. But as sure as my name is Lucky Day, the people of Santa Poco can conquer their own personal El Guapo, who also happens to be *the actual* El Guapo!



*El Guapo was played by Alfonso Arau an acclaimed Mexican actor and award winning director.


*Steve Martin is a pretty bad ass banjo player.



*Chevy Chase, before becoming famous on SNL was a drummer who played with Walter Becker and Donald Fagen who would later go on to form Steely Dan.


*Funny how most comedians are musically inclined, or they're just frustrated musicians. Thats a topic for another time though.

* There is a great book by Susan Jeffers called, "Feel the Fear and Do it Anyways." Read it, then go out and conquer your own personal El Guapo. But don't forget to summon the invisible swordsman first.