Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Beginners Guide to Buying Guitars







 If you’re a parent with a youngster that wants to play guitar, there is a theory that says one must buy a cheap guitar. That way if the youngster doesn’t stick with it, you didn’t end up wasting too much money. Why that is 
wrong is what I want to talk about today. But first, let me explain how this relates to my childhood growing up playing guitar.


 I first started playing guitar at age 9. My first guitar was my Dad’s old acoustic that he seldom played. I would play until my fingers bled, superglue my fingertips and keep playing. Even though I only knew one chord, I still played every day. The minute I first saw that guitar I knew I would spend the rest of my life playing it. 


 However my parents were not convinced I was going to keep it up and it took another four years before my parents broke down and bought me my own guitar. When I finally got my own guitar, it was a cheap Fender Squier Strat II that never stayed in tune, with an amp that sounded like I was playing thru a tin can. 


 It was embarrassing to take to school, and it was so difficult to play it made measuring my progress next to impossible. I asked my parents for better quality gear so I could start playing in bands but my parents still cited the fact that I would not stick with it. So in my late teens when most of my other friends were playing in bands, I was still playing on a 13 year olds guitar and desperately trying to save my money. 


That was not how I envisioned spending my teenage years playing 
guitar.



Looks Kind of Do Matter with that First Guitar!

  Not wanting to spend money on something someone might not stick with is valid, but it is also flawed.


 You don’t have to spend thousands of dollars, but just spending that extra couple hundred can make all the difference.


 You want your beginner to have a guitar he can be excited about so they WILL stick with it. It’s kind of hard to be excited about a piece of crap that you’re too embarrassed to play in front of your friends because your folks were too cheap to buy at least the next model better. 


 Watching their friends and fellow guitar players get excited over their how cool their guitar looks and sounds is a powerful motivator  to not only make you keep playing to but to also strive to improve.





The Frustrations of Playing a Shitty Guitar


 It sucks playing a poorly constructed guitar. It’s hard to be excited when you can’t tell where your deficiencies start and the guitar’s begin. 


 It’s hard to measure your progress when your guitar won’t even stay in tune and your amp sounds like someone taking a dump in though a megaphone. 


 It’s impossible to get good when you’re not playing and learning from other musicians because you’re guitar is such a piece of shit that you hide it at home for fear of getting laughed at. 


 Learning how to drive, for example, is difficult and frustrating enough without having to worry about having brakes that work, power steering, working lights and mirrors and a smooth running engine. 


You wouldn’t do that to a beginning driver, so don’t do that to a beginning guitarist. 


 Learning how to play is already hard, tedious, time consuming and at times extremely frustrating and disappointing as it is without being handicapped by a shitty guitar. 



The Very Basics of Buying a Guitar

 You could easily write a book about this. I’m not getting into the mechanical, and technical aspects of what to look for in a guitar. If you wanna find out what wood is the best, you’re on the wrong blog.

But if you want a couple pointers that are so easy to remember you don’t even have to write them down then here you go:







Buy a guitar at an actual music store


Not at a Best Buy or Walmart. Don’t ever do that you moron.



Ask for Help!


That’s what they’re there for. There’s nothing manly, or cool about being in a guitar store trying to buy a guitar you know nothing about and not asking for help.



Have the Salesperson Tune the Guitar


Make sure it stays in tune when it’s played and make sure all the guitars you look at are in tune. They’re easier to compare to each other that way.



Check for Buzzing on the Frets


This is not a good sign. If it can’t fixed by adjusting it – don’t buy it



And Lastly,




Beware of Surprising People


 I’ve been surprised with poor quality guitars and other gear as gifts. It is very stressful to hide that disappointed expression as quickly as possible, smile and say something like, “Wow! This is great!” when secretly wishing you had been there to supervise and consult on the purchase. 


 Even though your beginner may not even know how to play guitar yet, they may very well already know more about guitars than you think.


 In the four years before I got my first guitar, I had gone thru every guitar magazine there was to read. I knew exactly what I wanted, knew what to look for, where to find it and how much to pay. My parents, assumed incorrectly that just because I was a beginner, I didn’t know anything about guitars



 Take your beginner along to make that first purchase. If he can’t get what he wants at least he’s there to make sure he can still find something he’s still happy with.



CHEAP ISN’T ALWAYS BAD


 Even though cheap usually means bad, doesn’t mean it always means bad. Once you know what you’re looking for, you can find some great deals on places like Craigslist, EBay or just your local pawn shop. 


 As an adult my favorite electric guitar I’ve ever had, is this Alvarez electric guitar I bought for $90 at a used music store in Queen Creek, Arizona. It’s beat up, it’s old, it’s cheap but it stays in tune, and has personality and tone. I love that damn thing. 


 My last acoustic guitar was a beautiful sounding Fender acoustic/electric I found in a pawn shop with a great guitar case for $200.


 If you want to try to get a good deal for your youngster online or at a pawn shop and you don’t know anything about guitars make sure you consult with a friend or someone that does know what they’re doing.



 30 years after my parents told me they were convinced that I would never stick to playing guitar…well I’m still playing. 


 Of course I hardly ever follow my own advice. When I bought my daughter who’s five, a guitar, what did I do? I went out and got a $20 Walmart Barbie guitar. But who care’s she’s only five. If she’s still playing when she outgrows it then I’ll get her another one. Ha-ha.



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Monday, June 24, 2013

I Love All Your Comments Even the Negative Ones

 I love getting your feedback, comments and emails. And I love getting reactions out of people. I will even blog about an opinion that I don't even necessarily share just to see the reaction it gets.  

 I'm the type of person that will start argument over a belief I don't even have just for the sake of arguing, or to test how strong the other persons beliefs are. 

 But most of the time these are my actual opinions. 

 I'm almost 40, I don't like new music. I hate Dave Grohl for being nothing more than a celebrity who produces extremely lame and formulaic "pop" rock. I thinkTrent Reznor's best days ended in 1994 with "The Downward Spiral." I believe Kurt Cobain's death was a suicide not some far reaching conspiracy, and I hate The Blues as well as bands like KISS, Creed, U2 and Bon Jovi and 80's Hair Metal. I think guitar players today wear their damn guitars way too low and I find Heavy Metal just too damn loud these days.

 I love Classic Rock like The Beatles, and Pink Floyd and old Punk Music like The Sex Pistols, and Iggy Pop, and 90's Music like Nirvana and Alice in Chains, and some bands currently making music like Radiohead and The Black Keys. I also like System of a Down. I miss the old days of sex, drugs and rock and roll, and I think all rock stars should take heroin.

That's a little about me. What about you?

 I reserve the right to provoke my audience. Any reaction as long as your reading being entertained and leaving feedback is all I care about. 

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Friday, June 21, 2013

Why I Hate The Blues


I admit it. I am not a fan of The Blues. I mean seriously, does B.B. King really look like he has, “The Blues” right here?
Rich People Blues
 I just find it hard to believe that someone adorned in gold rings, a crushed velvet suit and a $10,000.00 guitar with gold plated pickups has “The Blues.” What could you possibly have the The Blues about that others can relate to?

· The Penthouse Suite was Already Booked Blues
· The I Couldn’t Get a Dinner Reservation So I’m on the Waiting List Blues
· The My Other Limo is in the Shop Blues
· The I’m Sorry But All I have is Hundreds, Can You Break it Blues



And I don’t care if Blues is the basis for Rock music. I hate it when people say, “Well everyone should like The Blues because it forms the foundation for rock music.”
 I like beer but by that logic I’m not gonna run around ingesting raw barley and hops just because it’s the basis for all beer.
 I don’t wanna hear about heartache and loss coming from people who fly first class and buy private planes and shopping centers for fun.
Poor People Blues


 I don’t wanna hear blues from rich people, and frankly, I don’t wanna hear it from poor people either. If you thought you were gonna make a fortune in music and solve all your problems, then you should’ve stayed in school.  Making money in music is a longshot on the level of winning the lottery. You wanna solve your problems? Sell your guitar, buy a suit and get a job.

White Guy Suburb Blues


 Some people may say there’s lots of talented local blues musicians, but frankly, your buddy from work who drives a Prius, rents a house and has DirectTV and who's band plays the local Yorgurtini on Saturday’s is not my idea of, “The Blues"

The British Invasion


 Just for the record, a bunch of frilly pretty boy middle class Englishmen who thought they were blues just because they owned a Muddy Waters album, is not blues either.
PS: The Moody Blues (pictured above) is not Blues either. 


                                       The Blues Brothers

 Rich white comedians are not blues. Although the fact that John Belushi was fat, and on heroin and died of an overdose IS kind of Bluesy
In Conclusion
The Blues is a dead art form. It is inherently bland and so minimalistic that it is incapable of evolving. The same chord progression and the same scale done hundreds of thousands of times for decades, ad nauseam.
 Rock music remains the superior genre because it is able to grow and evolve in radically ever changing ways that their dinosaur blues men counterparts could never dream of.
A life forever bound to the same chord progressions and scales?
Now there’s a thought to truly give one, “The Blues.”

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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Too Old to Be in a Band



2 acoustic guitarists in QC looking for a bassist, singer and drummer to jam with. We do 90's alternative covers and play once or twice a week. We eventually want to gig but are in no hurry to do so right now. Looking for people we can get along with and hang out, have fun and jam in our spare time while we fine tune our sound. Must be able to travel to Queen Creek. Female singers encouraged. 

 This is what I posted on Craigslist recently. 

 I'm looking for some people for me and my other guitar playing buddy to jam with and maybe actually get a band together and gig. Since I don't know anyone else in town, I figured it was worth a shot. Like the ad says we would like to get a band going but we're not in a big hurry, so we really just want to find some like-minded people out there too who are also into the music we play and who just want to play a couple times a week, just for fun. Then we'll see what happens. Sounds reasonable right?

  What I didn't know was that almost every response I would get back was asking for demos and mp3's and Youtube links and where we had gigs lined up.

 WTF? Either nobody bothered to read the ad or my idea of how bands come together is simply and outdated model.

  We were just looking for people to jam with.  You would think we were looking for people to sign to a contract and start immediate paying gigs or something. 

  If this is the way things are nowadays then I'm definitely too old to be in a band. 

 In my day, you met people first, then started a band then made records and videos. 

 Apparently these days you start a band, then make records, then make videos, then finally meet the actual band members. 

EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!



 

 When I say I'm a guitarist, I mean that literally and entirely. I'm only a guitar player. I'm not a guitarist/computer wizard/recording engineer. I know how to play guitar and thats it. I know nothing about Pro Tools or recording software. I only know how to play guitar. 


Apparently, guitarists who only play guitar are just not in demand anymore. 

 How Jimi Hendrix would look like today...maybe

 I'm too old to be in a band. I need a psychiatrist, a therapist and medication to just not be able to fuck up a cup of coffee. I would a need an entire team of Swiss psychiatrists working round the clock to be able to begin to learn Pro Tools.

 Rock Bands are for the young. An unemployed, teenage dropout has all day to learn pro tools.

 I'm too old to be in a band. I'm married and have kids and work 40 hours a week and I can't practice more than twice a week. 

 Rock Bands are for the young. In your teens and twenties you can rehearse all night every night. 



This is the kind of band that people my age start.

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Friday, June 14, 2013

The 27 Club


What is the 27 Club you ask?


The 27 is:

a) A swingers sex club in Phoenix, AZ

b) the 27 women who have let me see them naked. 

c) musicians who have died at age 27

If you answered A, you are obviously on the wrong blog. If you answered B, you're way, way under. And if you answered C you're correct. 

Original Bluesman Robert Johnson, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison and Kurt Cobain are just a few of the members of this prestigious club.  But there are a few rules for membership:


27 Club Rules

1. You have to be a famous musician. 
2. You have to be dead at age 27
3. Your death must be from something drug or alcohol related.

* the third rule isn't really a rule, just more of a guideline. 

The Truth About the 27 Club

 The truth is, there is no 27 Club and its all bullshit. There is nothing unusual or mysterious going on, and there is no curse that causes musicians to die at age 27. Furthermore, this phenomenon has been studied by scientists and researchers and it has been proven that musicians are just as likely to die at any age, not just 27. 

 An Australian study conducted at the Queensland University of Technology performed a mathematical analysis of over 1,000 musicians and found 86% died at ages other than 27 while only 7% did. (source: Time.com)

  Likewise, the British Medical Journal published a study in 2011 that also concluded there was no increased risk of musicians dying at age 27. 



 For all the poor, unlucky bastards who died at 27, there are just as many , if not more musicians who died at other ages. John Lennon (40), Elvis (42), Jerry Garcia (53), Sid Vicious (21), John Bonham (32), Bon Scott (33), Keith Moon (32) Layne Staley (34) are just a few I can name off the top of my head. 

 And don't forget the ones who have used drugs/alcohol heavily and survived like Ozzy Osbourne, Keith Richards, Steven Tyler, Alice Cooper, and Lou Reed to name a few. 

Getting Old: What Rock Stars Dread

 PsychologyToday.com has written that getting older is a major threat to our creative enterprises.  

 After age 30, we become more emotionally stable, more conscientious, more agreeable and less open to new experiences. 

 The fact is, becoming older more boring, conforming and adjusted can be a major threat to a rocker who's livelyhood depends on being youthful, rebellious, wild and dangerous. The public wont buy into it. 

 Want proof? Look at Paul McCartney. He wrote/cowrote 27 number 1 songs with The Beatles all by age 30. Since then? His last number one hit was Say Say Say in 1983 over 30 years ago. 

 The Rolling Stones, who began their careers with several number 1 hits, last topped the charts with Honky Tonk Women in 1969  

What Does This Prove?

 Rock n Roll is for the young, and for those rock stars nearing age 30, getting older can be a scary concept. To think that they are only 3 years away from waking up one morning 30 years old, irrelevant, obsolete and your palm blinking red hoping to God that perhaps you will be renewed. 


...Ahh the firey ritual of Carrousel. 

 So yes some rock stars die at 27 but no more than at any other age. 

 If Hendrix or Morrison died in their thirties we would all be talking about the. "Thirty Something Club" today. 

 Which of course would all be bullshit too. 

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