Gimme a Break I'm Old

  I get slammed a lot through comments, email and in person about some of the things I say on this blog.

I'm almost 40 years old, give me a break! 

I'm middle aged and set in my ways. My waistline is expanding and my hair is graying.

I listen to the classic rock station and remember when most of the songs were just released, and first played on the "regular" rock station. 

The year I was born Led Zeppelin released "Houses of the Holy," and Pink Floyd released, "Dark Side of the Moon."

I remember the night John Lennon died.

I saw Metallica in Concert back when they still had long hair.

 I'm the musical equivalent of the old man yelling at kids to "get the hell of my lawn."

  I'm 40 years old, I don't want to be at a concert with a bunch of teenagers. If I go to a concert I want to be around people my age. Just like when I was a teenager, I didn't want to be at a concert or listening to music that a bunch of 40 year olds listened to. 

  I also don't want to walk around as a 40 year old man pretending I'm still in late teens/early 20's. Some people may be able to do that convincingly, but thats just not the kind of 40 year old I want to be. 

 Now I'm not saying that all new music sucks. I'm sure there are some great acts out there doing outstanding work these days. I just don't feel the need to go seek them out. I'm set in my ways. I already have a ton of great music on my I-Tunes these days.

I like what I like and I'm entitled to my opinions.

 I'm married and have a full-time job and kids. I don't have the time to surf Youtube or Itunes all day looking for new artists, just like when I was teenager and could spend all day long on MTV. I barely have the time to keep up this stupid blog.

 I've been accused of being closed minded and not just because I don't listen to a lot of new music but also because I don't like other genres like country music. After all why should I knock them for writing a hit song when what the hell did I ever write?

 All I'm going to say is that at my age I think I'm allowed to be a little set in my ways. I think it would be more absurd for a 40 year old man to like every single little teenage music fad that came out. 

  I'm like a fine wine. I've been aged and season to like what I like.

 If you're young and think I'm just a closed minded fool, then all I gotta say is, You'll get there too someday. 

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. and I'm entitled to mine. But still geez, try to take it easy on the hatred sometimes. If you're that bent out of shape by what I write about, don't read it. Or go write your own blog about it. 

On second thought...keep reading, I need the readers.

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Pull Your Damn Guitars Up!

WHY YOU LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE WHEN YOUR GUITAR STRAP IS TOO LOW

  I view these kids who play with their guitars too low in much the same way I view these kids who walk around with their pants hanging around their God damn ankles.

 

 It doesn't make you look cool, it just makes you look like an ignorant, uneducated piece of trash.

You kids pull your god damn guitars back up!

I'm almost 40 now. Since life expectancy these days is roughly 78 years, that technically puts me in middle age. My beef with douchebags who wear their guitars too low makes me the musical version of the angry old man who's always yelling at the neighborhood kids to 'get the hell off my lawn!' 

I believe in first impressions. For example, when I see someone wearing their pants around their ankles I get the impression that this is someone who mistakenly believes they look good when they really don't and are willing to stick to this erroneous belief even at risk of ridicule, unemployment and profiling by law enforcement. 

When I see someone wearing their guitar too low I get the impression that this too is someone who mistakenly believes they look good when they really don't, and that "looking good with the guitar" is ultimately more important than anything you actually play on the guitar. 

   And as a lifelong guitar player, I hold the instrument in a much higher regard. Yes the way you play is important because playing a certain way is better for your technique. 

 I also believe that if you wanna play great music then you need to look like you're playing great music. 

But I think its disrepecting to the guitar and to all the great guitarists in history to view your guitar as nothing more than simply a fashion accessory. 

Wearing your guitar too low also hinders the rest of your band as it doesn't present the music very well. If you truly did care about image then you would never wear your guitar like that.

  What do you think presents the music better?

  someone who wears their guitar this?

or 

someone who wears their guitar this?

 

 Besides, the lower your guitar hangs, the harder it is on your fret hand wrist, and your technique will suffer as a result. 

  In the photo above, Prince, shows how its done. You should have the guitar no higher or lower than belt level. This length looks best and is easy on the wrist, unless you have short alligator arms which in that case you may need to stop reading this and seriously consider changing hobbies.

 CORRECT. One again take note of the fret hand wrist and how it is resting in a natural, un-inverted position.

 Incorrect. Playing like this will also make you an alcoholic and will eventually kill you as Steve Clark has already so masterfully shown us. 

 

Correct

Incorrect 

A NOTE ON JIMMY PAGE

Techically, I would call this too low, but Jimmy Page is an exception to the rule. His arms are so damn long that he can comfortably play this low. Note how his fret hand wrist is still in a natural, unbent position. 

  Also, he's not calling attention to the fact he's playing low. 

He's doing it with class unlike the following douches below...

   

HOWEVER

  

If you're wearing pants and you wear 'em too low you look like an asshole but if you wear them too high you also look like an asshole. 

Don't rest the guitar on your belly, it looks lazy. Also note how wearing the guitar too high also leads to the un-natural position of the fret hand wrist.

Besides, wearing your guitar that high does not give the impression of confidence. It just makes it look like you're trying too hard, and you have not yet reached the level where you can just let it rip without a care in the world

like this...

Who do you think looks like the more confident, able guitarist? 

 

 someone who plays like this

  

someone who plays like this?

or 

 like this?

The first two DOUCHEBAGS just look like they're playing guitar. 

Hendrix and Gilmour look like THE GUITAR IS PLAYING THEM.

And that right there is the next level I want you to reach. 

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The Pussification of Today's Youth, & the Castration of Todays' Rock Music

Part I: Why Today's Music Sucks

"Fuck that! When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children?" - Bill Hicks


 I would like to say that todays new music sucks. 

  I would LIKE to say that, but the fact is that I can't because I don't listen to today's music. I don't find anything currently going in music, appealing enough to get me to turn on a radio. 

 About five minutes ago I looked thru the Billboard Hot 100 Chart to see if I could find anything familiar. These are the results. 

Songs I've Heard: 0 out of 100

Artists I've Heard of: 14 out of 100

Artists I've Heard ANYTHING From: 2 out of 14

 I think my biggest problem with today's music, today's musicians and today's youth in general is that their musical tastes are too varied. 

Yeah that's right, I said it...Why am I saying that? Shut up, I'm gonna tell you why!

  It seems to me that all music today is a crossover over everything else. Country music artists trying to cross over into rock so they can target that market of rock fans. Rock fans crossing over into Rap to pick up that new market of Rap people. And since I don't consider rap either musical or artistic I'm not going write about, nor do I give a shit about about anything thats going on with that garbage. 

  If everything sounds like everything else, whats does it matter what the hell you're listening to? 

  What do you think would taste better, mixing every flavor of ice cream into one  unintelligible mess, or one solid flavor that stands out and combines nothing else?

   Music has been taken over  by marketing. 

 'If you're a rock band, you can't be too rock and roll because that will alienate your crossover fans and we need that market."

 "If you're a country artist you have to be rocked out a little because we gotta get into that rock crossover market."

  "If you're a rock band you can't have a sex, drugs and rock n roll image because there's no market in that these days and you'll never be able to get your lead singer as a judge on America's new reality show, "I'm only famous because I'm on TV."

 "If you're a rock band you can't rock out too hard either. We need to water it down, make it a little more 'Pop Music Sounding' because the teeny bopper pop music market is huge and we need to be able to reach that market."

BRING THE SEX & DRUGS BACK TO ROCK MUSIC

Part II: Why Today's Youth Also Suck

  I was recently told by one of these youngsters that being a musician means liking and respecting all genres of music and not being judgmental or negative towards other musicians regardless of genre because after all, they're just trying to make a living.

  Furthermore, I was also basically told that, Sex, Drugs and Rock N Roll isn't cool anymore and that todays music is much better than anything a Guns N Roses or a Led Zeppelin could ever produce. Furthermore I was told that The Beatles never did anything original in their careers, and that todays rock music dominates over yesterdays music for the exact reason that it has been watered down under the ruse that it is 'more eclectic' and therefore superior to Classic Rock. 

  Futhermore, I was also told that being a musician is much cooler than being a rocker and that you can't be a real musician without liking and respecting rap music

  I said that, if thats the case, then I'd much rather be a Rocker then a Musician any day. I first picked up a guitar at age 9 not in hope that maybe one day I would grow up to be a open minded, well-rounded musician that could appreciate and respect all styles of music. I picked up that fukking guitar because I wanted to ROCK!!!

What do I think of that Youngsters Statements? 

What Else do I Think of That?

  Wanna know why rock music sucks these days? because there is no rock music these days! It's all either rock/pop, rock/rap, rock/country...

IN CONCLUSION

   You know that old racist grandfather who always uses the N word and their behavior is always being excused by statements such as,

  "Oh he just comes from a different time, thats all."

   I guess I'm the musical equivalent of that old racist grandfather. In my day if you liked rock, then by default that meant that you hated rap music and you despised country music. 

I DEMAND RIGIDLY DEFINED BOUNDARIES OF MUSICAL PREJUDICE!

   "FUCK THAT I WANT MY ROCKSTARS DEAD!" - Bill Hicks

     I want my rockstars to party hard.

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