Johnny Cash is Coming to Kill My Family

  The first time I ever heard of Johnny Cash was in 1982...It was during a hostage situation on live television.



  In May 1982, Joseph Billie Gwin took a live Phoenix newscast hostage at gunpoint. He made the anchorman Bill Close read his f*cked up crazy ass manifesto before surrenduring to police. Among the highlights of this lunatic manifesto:

• Phoenix would be invaded by ants
• Five cities would be destroyed by nuclear bombs then rebuilt by homosexual men [I may not have that exactly right but thats close enough]
• Johnny Cash was called upon to warn the Queen of England of an impending nuclear attack by Argentina.



   I was 8 years old when that happened. I remember seeing the newscaster in the middle of reading this guys letter for a couple minutes of this until I was banned from the living room. Years later all I remember is the following sentence which may or may not have even been read:  Johnny Cash is coming to kill my family.


   To be honest with you, I really don't know any more about Johnny Cash now then I did back then. Except I'm fairly certain, he never killed that guys family. Other than that movie they made about him, thats about it. I'm not even a fan of country music either, but I am a fan of Johnny Cash. He was a good singer, and he was one of that first group of white guys in the 50's to steal rock and roll from black people.

   I'm not going to pretend to write some epic biography here. Go to a library if you want that. I'm sure there are plenty of people that can give you volumes upon volumes of Johnny Cash history, I'm not one of those people.

Here Are Some Other Cool Things About Johnny Cash

1. Hurt: Even if you're not a Johnny Cash fan this is so moving, powerful and deep that after you watch this you will hug your wife, then record an album of country duets to be sold only at truck stops. But if you watch the video again, then everything will return to normal.



2. Johnny Cash: Half Man, Half Muppet: Even though Johnny Cash was one of the original rockers, and had that whole dressed in black, drug taking, bad guy thing going on, he wasn't above hanging out on the muppet show, and for someone as immature as I am, that says a lot.



3. Sesame Street: For a musician to play Folsom Prison AND Sesame Street, you pretty much got all your bases covered there.



4. He's Been Everywhere! It's true! Hello, he even wrote a song about it.