Bipolar Musicians: Jimi Hendrix

Am I happy, or in misery? Jimi Hendrix from Purple Haze

   Jimi Hendrix never received a diagnosis of Bipolar during his lifetime, but like I've always said, if being creative and self destructive at the same time isn't a sign of being bipolar then I don't know what is. A study conducted in the 1970's (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201203/bipolar-disorder-and-creativity) studied 30 prominent authors and found that 80% had experienced at least one episode of major depression, hypomanic, or mania compared to only 30% of the control group. A follow up done 15 years later found that 43% of the authors had been diagnosed Bipolar as opposed to only 10% of the control group.

  The link between Bipolar Disorder and creativity is definitely there. 


  And being Bipolar myself, I like to think we can smell our own.

There are other things too.

1. Jimi Hendrix Wrote a Song Called Manic Depression 

 Manic Depression is what Bipolar Disorder was called back in the old days. The lyrics go from the highs of "Manic Depression is touching my soul," to the lows of, "Manic Depression is a frustrating mess." ...

Manic depression is touching my soul
I know what I want but I just don't know
How to, go about gettin' it
Feeling sweet feeling,
Drops from my fingers, fingers
Manic depression is catchin' my soul

Woman so weary, the sweet cause in vain
You make love, you break love
It's all the same
When it's, when it's over, mama
Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess

Well, I think I'll go turn myself off,
And go on down
All the way down
Really ain't no use in me hanging around
In your kinda scene

Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess 

2. Jimi Hendrix was an Army Paratrooper.

  Jimi Hendix was an army paratrooper in the 101st Airborne. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) lists engaging in high risk behaviors as one of the symptoms of manic behavior. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/bipolar-disorder/index.shtml

3. Jimi Hendrix had a history of violence

 The book, Room Full of Mirrors: A Biography of Jimi Hendrix describes an incident where he hit a woman over the head with a vodka bottle in a drunken rage. The same book tells of another incident where he was engaged in a drunken brawl in a hotel in Sweden where he also put his hand thru a plate glass window. 

 The book, Scuse Me While I Kiss The Sky also tells of more violent run ins with women. 

 Psychiatrictimes.com states that just under 50% of people with Bipolar disorder have some history of violent behavior. (http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/bipolar-disorder/violence-bipolar-disorder)

4. Jimi Hendrix and Drugs

 Yes, obviously Jimi Hendrixs' history with alcohol, LSD, and pill is well documented, as is the fact that he obviously died of a drug overdose. According to statistics presented by the American Journal of Managed Care: 

 About 56 percent of individuals with bipolar who participated in a national study had experienced drug or alcohol addiction during their lifetime

• 

  There's the Jimi Hendrix that showed his charming and humorous side on the Dick Cavett show

   There's the Jimi Hendrix that belted out that beautiful rendition of the Star Spangled Banner.

and there's the Jimi Hendrix that was a boozing, drug using violent womanizer. This contrast is the reality of Bipolar Disorder. 

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Studies have found that just under 50% of people with bipolar disorder have some history of violent behavior.1 - See more at: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/bipolar-disorder/violence-bipolar-disorder#sthash.NBAvEYvm.dpu

Studies have found that just under 50% of people with bipolar disorder have some history of violent behavior.1 - See more at: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/bipolar-disorder/violence-bipolar-disorder#sthash.NBAvEYvm.dpuf

Studies have found that just under 50% of people with bipolar disorder have some history of violent behavior.1 - See more at: http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/bipolar-disorder/violence-bipolar-disorder#sthash.NBAvEYvm.dpuf

Bipolar Musicians: Kurt Cobain

Bipolar Opposites Attract - Kurt Cobain, from "Radio Friendly Unit Shifter."

  Time magazine included Kurt Cobain in a 2002 list of “manic geniuses” who made great contributions to music, art, or literature.  Manic Depression is what Bipolar Disorder used to be called back in the day.

  However, it's not clear if Kurt Cobain was ever officially diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. As someone with Bipolar disorder I can see it in his writings. We'll get into that later. 

 A lot of what we know comes from his cousin, Bev Cobain, a registered nurse with a background working in mental health:

"Kurt was diagnosed at a young age with Attention Deficit Disorder [ADD], then later with bipolar disorder...Bipolar illness has the same characteristics as major clinical depression, but with mood swings, which present as rage, euphoria, high energy, irritability, distractibility, overconfidence, and other symptoms. As Kurt undoubtedly knew, bipolar illness can be very difficult to manage, and the correct diagnosis is crucial. Unfortunately for Kurt, compliance with the appropriate treatment is also a critical factor" - Bev Cobain

  Attention Deficit disorder and Bipolar can often be confused and their symptoms often overlap. I was originally misdiagnosed as having ADD myself before I was eventually and correctly diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder.
  
  Drug abuse is also common with Bipolar Disorder. Cobain's biography Heavier then Heaven writes about several overdoses that Kurt had before his death. According to statistics presented by the American Journal of Managed Care:

• About 56 percent of individuals with bipolar who participated in a national study had experienced drug or alcohol addiction during their lifetime.

  Suicide is also common with Bipolar Disorder. According to the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry  At least 25% to 50% of patients with bipolar disorder also attempt suicide at least once.

Kurt Cobain wrote a song called, "I Hate Myself and Want to Die."

 He also wrote a song called "Lithium," which is a popular drug used to treat Bipolar Disorder. The lyrics resemble the highs and lows that characterize being Bipolar: The feelings of no self worth and loneliness that is depression and the elevated mood and excitement that one experiences in mania.

I'm so happy...I'm so ugly...I'm so lonely...I'm so excited...I'm so horny...- Lithium

 His two biographies, Come as You Are: The Story of Nirvana & Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain both tell stories of his moodiness, depression and also higher more elevated moments of extreme creativity. 

 The life of Kurt Cobain shows us the immense creativity that can come from having Bipolar Disorder. Yet at the same time it also shows us the disaster that Bipolar Disorder is when it's left untreated. 

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Bipolar Musicians: Axl Rose

Can you think of any musicians whose careers can best be described as bipolar? - question asked to Guitardedblog.com

  One of my followers asked me this awesome question today and I would be more than happy to try and answer it. There has been lots of different musicians who people have thought to have been bipolar. There's a good link to a website that talks about some of them here, But the most prominent one that comes to mind is Axl Rose.
  Axl Rose has been described as Bipolar and his career would certainly lend credence to this.

"I'm very sensitive and emotional and things upset me and make me feel like not functioning or dealing with people... I went to a clinic, thinking it would help my moods. The only thing I did was to take one 500 question test - ya know, filling in the little black dots. All of a sudden I'm diagnosed manic-depressive.- Axl Rose

 As you can see Axl himself as alluded as much, but for every statement that he's made saying he was diagnosed manic-depressive he's also made statements that he's never been diagnosed.

 I've not been diagnosed as being bipolar though many misconstrue statements I made earlier as alluding to such and unfortunately there's been an abundance of misguided or unqualified speculation of various events but I definitely can relate to needing my own space.- Axl Rose

 This in itself seems like very bipolar behavior in my opinion.

He's had a history throughout his life of anger, drug/alcohol use, violent behavior, arrests. Being bipolar myself I can certainly relate to that, But that could really point to a lot of things.

 Then there's the whole thing with Guns n Roses where he wouldn't come onstage until he was damn good and ready, sometimes well after midnight. The constant firing and restructuring of the Guns n Roses lineup, the decade plus long wait for Chinese Democracy, etc...

AXL ROSE BEFORE AND AFTER...YES THAT IS REALLY HIM!!!

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Abilified

Among the more than five million adults in America who have Bipolar Disorder, these “mood swings” can be extreme or frequent. These changes in mood aren’t as simple as transitioning from “happy” to “sad.” With Bipolar Disorder, symptoms can include both a lowering of mood (depression) and an exaggerated elevation of mood (mania). These changes occur in cycles and are referred to as “episodes.” People with Bipolar Disorder experience extreme mood swings that can take three different forms: manic, depressive, and mixed episodes.-  From www.abilify.com


  My new psychiatrist put me on Abilify about a month ago. It's supposed to help manage bipolar 1 mania, and make me less paranoid and delusional.


Clinical studies have shown the effectiveness of ABILIFY in the treatment of acute manic and mixed episodes in adults or pediatric patients (10 to 17 years) with

Bipolar I Disorder.-  www.abilify.com

I've spent a few years now getting help for whatever is wrong with me. Although bipolar disorder was first brought to my attention a few years ago, I was adamant I didn't have it, because I was unable to admit that I had manic (high mood/elevated) episodes.

On average, people with Bipolar Disorder spend ten years seeking treatment before finally getting diagnosed. One survey found that as many as 70% of people with Bipolar Disorder are initially diagnosed with a different condition. Often, this is because people only tend to seek treatment during a depressive episode and neglect to discuss manic symptoms with their healthcare professional. There are no lab tests or other procedures for diagnosing Bipolar Disorder. Instead, a healthcare professional must take a very thorough history  - www.abilify.com

What I now know as part of this illness, I always used to think was my normal mood. But after a couple years of therapy, of psychiatrists and a stay in a mental hospital, I've been able to get some insight into my episodes and the cycles they follow. 


You can help others, such as family and friends, support you by talking with them about your condition and allowing them to help and support you. It is helpful for family and friends to learn as much as they can about your condition so you can discuss it more openly and they can find ways to support you. The support and encouragement of loved ones can be an important part of your treatment plan.- www.abilify.com


 The Abilify website says that talking with your friends and family is helpful. I want to believe thats true. I guess thats why I do this blog, but I really don't have many friends in AZ, I get the impression most of family and friends either get too creeped out by this subject to talk about it with me, they think its all bullshit, or they think I shouldn't be airing my dirty laundry out for all the world to see so they try to just pretend that it doesn't exist, and that just makes me feel awkward and I just want to avoid people even more than I already do. 

  So this blog is pretty much how I interact with the world and how I share my experiences with bipolar disorder.

Until very recently, I had been on an amazing, manic episode that had started back in the begining of February. I was dieting on almost entirely all egg whites, I had lost 40lbs, I was running 3-4 miles a day and my energy levels were literally superhuman. 

  Abilify's website has this picture on it. I'm assuming that this what Abilify says you're going to feel like when you start taking this medication. 

It also says you will feel like this:

  But in reality I feel like this:

But I hate looking at myself in picture so in my mind I look more like this:

  The elation and euphoria is gone. My energy levels are nonexistent. My creativity is nowhere to be found. I feel empty and awkward because I'm used to either being manic and obsessed about something or angry paranoid and depressed. 

  But its not all bad. I definitely feel less paranoid, delusional and slightly less irritated. Sometimes I wish I could just hang onto that manic  high feeling and just take medication when I'm on the lows. But I know now that it doesn't work like that. You can't have the wonderful highs without the earth-shattering lows. And the more manic and depressed episodes I allow myself to have go unchecked the harder it is on my wife, my step daughter and my job. And that ultimately hurts me. 

   I think this how normal people are. Not high, not low, just "there" neither happy or sad, not obsessed but not depressed. I'm not used to feeling like this, its not natural for me and I'm not sure I like it. But mentally I'm a lot more stable and that's ultimately whats in my best interests because I'm married and have stepchildren who rely on me and for the first time I realize how difficult I am to deal with when I'm having these episodes.

 I'll never be normal and there is no cure for what I have. But it can be managed and thats the best anyone in my position can hope for.

 I dont have a nice little ending planned that sums everything up. This was more of an extended rant. I guess I just wanted to vent today, so I'll just end it now.

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