That'll probably be the headline on all the newspapers when Paul McCartney dies. I'm not looking forward to this for several reasons. Of course there's the whole musical genius thing, but the main reason I'm not looking forward to it is because I believe the media is going to focus on all the wrong aspects about his life. That's what I want to write about today.
I dread the deaths of certain super celebrities. Not because i care about them but because of all the shit I have to endure on television when one of them dies. And the bigger the personality, the worse it is. - George Carlin
When Paul McCartney dies, It'll be worse than when Michael Jackson or Princess Diana died. We're gonna have to hear Hey Jude and Yesterday (both overrated in my opinion) non stop while they play constant retrospectives and video clip and photo montages. They'll probably even do man on the street interviews asking people what they think about Paul McCartney and his musical legacy.
Then of course you'll have to hear every asshole newscaster saying stupid fucking cliches like "Well I guess he's playing in heaven with John and George now." That's probably gonna annoy me more than anything else. It's gonna be all over your Facebook and Twitter pages and you won't be able to escape it.
This is the just the first stage of how I envision the media fucking this whole thing up when Paul McCartney dies. When they're not busy talking in cliches everyone on TV will be focusing on all the wrong aspects of his life. CNN will have nonstop 24 hour coverage.
Every moment of the funeral will be covered worldwide. Old, fat dirty hippies will be lined the streets in tears trying to get a view of his casket. Some old fucking hag will be interviewed and she'll go on and on about how she saw The Beatles in Shea Stadium or Candlestick Park and how even tho you couldn't hear shit it was so amazing. Every other person they interview will basically say the same thing.
They will talk about how Paul McCartney was a vegetarian and how he was always all over the tabloids because he was getting married over and over again after Linda McCartney died. They'll show that one lady with the one leg.
They will also probably keep referring to his collaboration with Michael Jackson and they'll talk over a clip from that music video they did for "Say Say Say," which will play every time they come back from commercial or while they're doing an interview with some guy who's supposed to be an expert on how Paul McCartney dying will affect society.
They will also talk about how Paul McCartney lost the publishing rights to The Beatles's songs because he was outbid by Michael Jackson. Then they'll probably make some reference to the earlier cliche with something as equally stupid as, "Now they can make music videos and outbid each other in heaven," or some shit like that.
AT THIS POINT, OVERCOME BY FRUSTRATION AND OUTRAGE I WILL PROBABLY DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS...
WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD FOCUS ON INSTEAD
I woke up one morning with a tune in my head ... I went to the piano
and found the chords to it ... It just came to me in a dream" - Paul McCartney on writing Yesterday
1. Musical Genius: Paul McCartney plays many instruments, a few of which are; guitar, bass guitar, piano, harmonica, recorder, banjo, mandolin, and drums, and he plays them good too.
He wrote Yesterday in his sleep, literally. While some of you are lucky if you don't piss your pants while you're sleeping, this motherfucker is writing hit songs. That's some next level shit right there.
He's arguably the most underrated, melodic and greatest rock bass player ever. And even at 70 he still sings the early Beatles in the same key they were originally recorded in. To still have kind of vocal range after 50 years is truly impressive.
He wrote Yesterday in his sleep, literally. While some of you are lucky if you don't piss your pants while you're sleeping, this motherfucker is writing hit songs. That's some next level shit right there.
He's arguably the most underrated, melodic and greatest rock bass player ever. And even at 70 he still sings the early Beatles in the same key they were originally recorded in. To still have kind of vocal range after 50 years is truly impressive.
2. Business Genius: Paul McCartney's company MPL Communications owns over 25,000 copyrights and the publishing rights to the musicals Guys and Dolls, A Chorus Line, Annie and Grease. It also owns the publishing rights for Buddy Holly, and Carl Perkins and many other artists.
3. Criminal Past/Bad Boy: McCartney has been arrested four times for weed and even spent 8 days in jail in Japan after he tried to smuggle in his suitcase full of weed. For someone with as big of a rep as a vegetarian and humanist and all around nice guy, people forget that this used to be someone who had no problems being arrested, and spending time in jail.
4. SNL: The Chris Farley Show: Still one of my favorite moments from SNL. I don't know how many people still remember this. It's a must watch. Its so funny until he asks the last question which is probably one of the greatest questions I think has ever been asked of a Beatle. I'm sure it was meant as a joke but I don't think they realized just how profound that question was.
Chris Farley: ...um, you did that album Abbey Road, and at the very end of the song, it would.. the song goes, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"? You.. you remember that?
Paul McCartney: Yes.
Chris Farley: Uh.. is that true?
Paul McCartney: Yes, Chris. In my experience, it is. I find, the more you give, the more you get.
5. What Could've Been: There was at least one close
call to a Beatles reunion. In 1976 when Lorne Michaels made a
joke on SNL, offering the Beatles $3000 for a reunion. It may have been
just a joke, but Lennon and McCartney almost took him up on the offer.
The two were watching the show and were thinking about going down to the
SNL studios, but at the last minute decided against it, citing the fact they hadn't played together in public for many years and whether or not they could've made it to the NBC studios in time.
Two of Us is a low budget but very interesting movie that fictitiously speculates about how that whole story might have gone down.
Link to IMDB's entry for Two of Us (2000)
Two of Us is a low budget but very interesting movie that fictitiously speculates about how that whole story might have gone down.
Link to IMDB's entry for Two of Us (2000)
In Conclusion
It will be a sad day when Paul McCartney dies without already having the media there to turn into a circus.
I don't even wanna think about whats going to happen with Mick Jagger dies.
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