Monday, November 4, 2013

Malmsteen Shmalmsteen


  Now when I think of Yngwie Malmsteen, I think of two things. One is the time I got to meet him on his tour bus during the 1990's. More on that later.

  The other is Phrygian modes, Harmonic Minor scales and more Phrygian modes over Eb Minor songs played at supersonic speeds.

  Now I'm not saying that he sucks. For what he does, which is shredding over a scale he has already played 10 times on the same album, or playing a riff that sounds exactly the same to another riff that is on a previous album, with the exception of one different note, he does it extremely well.

 


  Yes he's good, but personally I don't care how good he is, it just doesn't interest me. What interests me is not technique, but originality and creativity.


being really really fast is okay, but do a little something different every once and a while. Write a nice melody, try actually playing a chord. Focus on writing a really good song instead of focusing on "how many notes can I fit into the next three minutes." Is that asking too much?

 
9 minutes of Yngwie Malmsteen playing guitar. Think you have what it takes to sit thru this in its entirety and pass the Yngwie Malmsteen Challenge?

 and to elaborate from earlier let me tell you my Yngwie Malmsteen story.

  It's the mid 1990's and I used to work with a girl who used to model with his wife (I have no idea if they are still married). When Yngwie came to town I went to the show with some of my friends who were huge fans of his. I was more curious than a fan actually.

  The girl sees me at the show and introduces me to the wife. I asked her if I can meet Yngwie and she says yeah but only me and the girl I work with. My friends had to stay behind.



  He's sitting down in one of those restaurant booth seats you sometimes see on large buses like this. He's wearing black leather pants with no shirt and his gut is hanging out over his pants and he' watching tv. His wife introduces us and he just mumbles and doesn't take his eyes away from the tv. I extend my hand so I can shake hands with him but he doesn't even acknowledge me and leaves me hanging.

  I tried asking him about a recent guitar magazine interview he did but as I'm asking him he gets the remote for the tv and turns up the volume full blast to drown me out. Then he starts yelling at his wife to find his hairbrush so she can brush his hair.

 What a dickhead, but then again I can imagine how I would feel if I'm about to play a show and am just trying to chill out and enjoy some quiet time before the insanity begins and some fucking kid I don't even know comes into my tour bus, MY home away from home asking me questions n shit. I might be a total dick too. I get that.

But he's still a douche. A very fast playing technically sound douche - yes. But still a douche.

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