Sunday, March 8, 2015

Top Five Shitty Cover Songs Your Band Needs to Stay Away From



5.  “Crazy Bitch” – Buck Cherry It’s pretty obvious why this song still gets played. It gives the band an excuse to bring all the “crazy bitches” on stage to dance. Well, I can’t blame you. I never complain when a 20 something girl gets on stage and shakes her moneymaker. But, just listen to the song! I can’t take it seriously. Not to mention that just playing it kind of makes me feel like I need to take a shower


4.  “Sweet Home Alabama” – Lynyrd Skynyrd A cover band staple for decades now, this song is played often and often played poorly. Far too many times I’ve heard bands reduce this classic Skynyrd song to a 5 minute jam on D, C and G. There’s way more to it than that! If your band is going to do it, at least do it right. No one needs to hear another half-assed rendition of this song ever again.

4.  "Brick House" - The Commodores Who'd have thought that calling a woman a brick house could be a compliment. But, damn, when the Commodores say it, it sure is! but when you're shitty bar band plays it it's just lame, boring and unoriginal.


3. "Play That Funky Music" - Wild Cherry In case you were unaware, Wild Cherry were basically white guys with jewfros who thought they were black. This song is literally played by every bar band in the world.

2. “Brown Eyed Girl” – Van Morrison Van Morrison himself was once quoted as saying, “It’s not one of my best, I mean I’ve got about 300 songs that I think are better.” This song has been done to death! Maybe take it from the songwriter himself and choose another song from his catalog.

1. “Mustang Sally” – Wilson Pickett If the band at the bar is playing this song, they’re probably all eligible for an AARP membership. The women dancing to it probably are too. This song was over played like 30 years ago. It’s time to give this tired old song a rest.


 These are songs your shitty bar band needs to stay away from. There are a bunch more songs like this to but these are the first five I could think of. 
There are two schools of thought when it comes to bar band cover songs.  

PLAY WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT:  A cover band makes money playing covers and to be a successful, working cover band means playing what people want to hear. 

The first time a harmless, rich drunk lays down $500.00 and requests you play Turn The Page or Cocaine for his lovely 300 pound wife because she wants to hear it, it will get your band marketing brain into gear very fast amigos.

I once heard a story about this band playing this biker festival somewhere and kept getting requests for Born to be Wild. The singer, who hated the song, kept insisting that they didn't know it. After a while, someone hands him a note saying "Play Born to be Wild or you won't make it out of here alive". The singer turns to the band and says "I don't know what song you're playing next, but I'm playing Born to be Wild".

BUT DO PEOPLE REALLY WANT TO HEAR THAT? The same tired old songs played over and over again. Maybe you should pick cover songs that are just as cool and rocking but that people don't know about. Maybe you think you have that perfect song to cover that will blow people away like Van Halen did with "You Really Got Me" or "Pretty Woman."   Or maybe you just refuse to fall in line and do what all the other sucessful bar bands are doing. Rock and Roll is about rebellion, and the overwhelming conformity and unoriginality of everyone playing the same shitty songs just makes you sick. 

So what do you do?

The Fuck if I know...

However, the public is what you are paid to entertain. You wanna be successful?

A cover band should play to the crowd and entertain them. They aren't musicians and don't think in sophisticated la la land theory about which songs suck and which songs kick ass. They all want to party or hook up with someone. It's not rocket science. But that doesn't mean you have to play the same shitty old songs, unless of course that rich drunk drops a couple C-Notes to hear Mustang Sally so he can dance with the pretty girl who he has absolutely no chance in hell with.

Or a gnarly biker dude about three times your size insisting, and I mean insisting, that you play "House of the Rising Sun." He may tip you big time and even refrain from kicking your ass.

Now, if you were playing to a club full of musicians...?  That's different story for another day.

I'll leave you with the worst cover of Pink Floyd ever.



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