Why Slash Sucks

For someone who has no idea what they're doing, he sure does it well.  

He's known as one of the world's most competent guitarists, he's won MANY awards and has been featured in every guitar related magazine ever. He was even the main character in Guitar Hero 3.

Bu he still sucks: 

Here's why:

1. He's Not a Great Songwriter
    Even though he did come up with the riffs for Sweet Child o' Mine and Paradise City, Axl & Izzy were the real song writing geniuses behind Guns N Roses.  Here's a lyrical example of what happens when Slash is left unsupervised:

Blood lust tonight, bite my tongue and hold it in
From deep inside she aches for every part of him
In the rapture of the midnight sun
She is longing for immortal love
Blue moon hangs high, tell me will it ever end?
Oh, oh, whoa, oh
Heres comes the bad rain,
Falling from an aching heart - from the song Bad Rain.

These are lyrics that I would expect to find scribbled inside a teenage girl's diary.


2. He's an Over Rated Guitarist at Best

     He's failed to evolve as a guitarist, he's stuck in the same sound and techniques. Even though Slash in the past has combined major and minor pentatonics, and even incorporated a few modal voicings here and there, you'd never know it because it still sounds like the same old shit he's been doing for decades now. As a guitarist he brings nothing new to the table.  Nothing innovative.  Although it may sound cool he never made me say, "OH MY GOD, HOW DID HE DO THAT?!"


3.  He Played With Michael Jackson
    


Playing with Michael Jackson, a multiple time suspected child molester is NOT Rock and Roll! And yeah I know Eddie Van Halen played with him too, and he sucks too but that's a subject for another time. 


4. He Holds His Guitar too Low

 I view musicians who hold their guitars too low in much the same way I view kids who wear their pants too low.  Pull you damn pants up & pull your damn guitars up too!


5. He Has the Heart of an Elderly Person
     At the age of 35, Slash was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, caused by years of drug and alcohol use. I might be shallow but I don't think a rock star with a pacemaker is very cool. Pacemakers aren't rock and roll. If you're old enough or self destructive enough that you need a pacemaker (or a defibrilator or whatever the fuck it is) it's time to retire. I have no respect for someone who does that to themselves. 

6.  He tried out for Poison 

     Any credibility he may have had as a musician disappeared when I found out he actually auditioned for one of the lamest bands ever. 

 Even though Slash sucks, I don't think Guns N Roses would've been famous without him. His guitar playing is shit but it still rounded out the sound very well. Any other competent guitarist would've been too good and ruined the band. 

  Even though Slash sucks, it could be worse, he could be Mick Mars...

Why You're too Old to Become Famous

 If you think you and your band are going to conquer the world then I got news for you. If you're already past your early twenties then odds are it ain't gonna happen. 

  Rock history shows us that musicians tend to become famous in their early 20's.  


ELVIS

First single "Heartbreak Hotel" was released when he was 21.


JERRY LEE LEWIS

  














First Hit "Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On," was released when he was 22.



LITTLE RICHARD

First Hit, "Tutti Frutti" was released when he was 23.


THE BEATLES

First album, "Please Please Me," was released when John Lennon was 23, & Paul McCartney was 21.



THE ROLLING STONES

The Stones first US tour was in 1964 when Mick Jagger was 21.

PINK FLOYD

Floyd's first album "The Piper at the Gates of Dawn" was released in 1967 when founder Syd Barrett was 21.



JIMI HENDIX

Was 24 when "Are You Experienced" was released.


JIM MORRISON

Was 22, when The Doors first single, "Break on Through" was released.



OZZY OSBOURNE

 






Ozzy Osbourne was 21 when Black Sabbath released their first album.


ROBERT PLANT

Robert Plant was 19 when Led Zeppelin signed their contract with Atlantic Records.




KURT COBAIN

Was 24 when Nirvana's Nevermind topped Michael Jackson's Dangerous to take the number 1 spot on the Billboard Charts.


  LAYNE STALEY

Was 22 when Alice in Chains released "Facelift"



 So you're not going to become famous. Are you going to cry? Fame is such a long shot on the level of winning the lottery. It takes a combination of Talent, Looks, Charisma, Charm, Dedication, Hard Work and Luck...lot's of luck.

  The Beatles became famous at a time where the baby boomers (children born in the aftermath of WWII) were becoming teenagers. Tiny hand held transistor radios were just coming out as well.  There were more teenagers alive in the early 1960's then at any period in history. The world was ready for the Beatles. It was the right place and the right time. Rarely does the universe line up so perfectly for something like The Beatles to happen.

But don't fret, just because you aren't going to be famous doesn't mean that you can't have a successful career making music. 

And by that I don't consider playing the local dive bar on the weekends for free beer a career. I'm talking about being able to make music for a living. It's hard, and it takes talent, and hard work, and dedication and no fucking around but if you have what it takes then it can be done at any age.

So how are the ways most non-famous full-time musicians make a living? 

 
1. Playing in multiple bands so that they gig as much as five times a week. And playing those gigs in bands where they are paid at least $75-$100 per gig rather than having to split beer money five ways. 


2. Playing at weddings and other gigs that come with a guaranteed $1000 - $3000 per gig. 

3. Teaching music, as much as 20 -40 kids a week. 
 
4. Being in a cover band. 

5. Playing on cruises, Casinos or in dinner theaters. 

6. Playing in a house band or being the solo piano player at a bar. 


The problem with all of the above is that the musicians who do it tend not to get a lot of respect, either from the music reviewers or from other musicians. Being a wedding musician tends not to be something musicians proudly announce. 

It's not considered very prestigious. The non-famous musicians making the most money are viewed rather condescendingly by local music critics and by up-and-coming musicians who think that kind of thing is akin to selling your music soul to make a buck. 

But playing original music that the bloggers love tends to be the least lucrative kind of music you can do. 


The advantage of having a day job that pays the bills is that you can do the music you love without regard to whether it pays the bills. That can be very creative."

Why Your Band Sucks and Will Never Make it Big

Trust me, you're not going to make it and here's why:


Because You Spend Way too Much Time on The Internet!

     Bands these days spend more time on the internet self-promoting then they do actually playing shows. Some bands solely seem to exist online.  Get off the internet and get on a stage and start playing. If your entire promotional plan relies on Facebook, you’re fucked.

 
Because Your Fanbase Sucks
 So you think you're the shit now just because you sold out a free show and your band had more fans than the other bands, so now you're the best band in the whole world? I dare you to play your next show without mass texting anyone or annoying all your Facebook friends with invites then see how many people show up. You're supposed to be gaining new fans not simply playing to your already existing fanbase that say they like you regardless just because they are your friends.


Because You Don't Play Shows Outside of Home

  What's the point in playing the same shows in the same places to the same people over and over again? It's called over saturation and that's exactly what you're doing to the market. Book a small tour. Even a weekend tour is GREAT! Planting seeds is the game and playing shows in new towns is the key to getting your music out the right way. The internet is a great tool to help in booking and promoting these shows, but it is not a tool to gain new real fans face to face. 



Because You Play Too Often

Even if your favorite band played your city every week, you wouldn’t go see them.  You wouldn’t make it a priority because you could always just “catch the next one.”

Spread Out Your Shows


Because You Want to "Make It" in the Music Business

  DUDE! The music industry is dead! You have a better chance at winning the lottery than you do "Making It" in the music business. Those bands that do make it, make it because they have the financial backing behind them that allows them to live like musicians and pursue music full time.  


You can’t tour because one of your members has a job

  The Beatles didn't have jobs. Do you think the Beatles would've made it if John Lennon was flipping burgers part time at the Liverpool McDonalds? Do you think Nirvana would've made it if Kurt Cobain was your Companys IT guy at the office during the week? If you wanna be a musician then you have to live like a musician, and that means life can get rough sometimes.


Because You Guys are Dicks 
  If there's one thing I hate it's when you go up to congratulate a band after a set and get blown off as if you're beneath them. You wanna make new fans? Stop fucking around on Facebook and try actually being nice to people! Thank the person that just congratulated you on your set. Ask them their name, be friendly. It'll go a long way. Thank the sound guys, door people, bartenders. People will like your music better if you aren't such assholes.


Because You Don't Practice

  There's a difference between practicing to inprove and just playing along to your favorite songs while watching tv and texting on your phone.


Because We Can't Read Your Fucking Band Logo
  

 










If your logo is this shitty, chances are the music will be too.


Because You Name Drop

  Nothing is lamer than trying to name drop to validate who you are. I could give a rat's ass that you played a show with Slipknot or King Diamond once.


Because Your Band Makes Better T-Shirts than Albums

  This goes back to my earlier post of spending way more time self promoting than actually playing.


Because You're Too Old

The music industry is a shallow place my friend.



Because You're Butt Ugly

The music industry is a shallow place my friend.


Because You Don't Have Any Personality or Charisma on Stage

  Staring at your guitar when you play instead of looking out at the crowd is probably the most common fault I see in bands. Also playing an entire set without telling the crowd what your band name is or when your next show will be.


Because You're Fucking Lazy

  You drink too much and wake up late. and spend your days watching reruns of Big Bang Theory. Making it means, you have to work, and to make it as a musician means you have to work at getting better on your instrument, work on booking shows, and work on promoting your band. Once you make it then you can drink too much and wake up late. You're putting the carriage before the horse.  It's like singers that admire Jim Morrison that think that just because they put on leather pants and drink a gallon of booze that they're going to be famous.


Because You're a Loser

   You're an unemployed musician on a low income who can't invest in yourself. And if you can't or won't invest in yourself then why should anyone else?   Just because Jack White became famous playing a $100 Montgomery Wards guitar doesn't mean you are too. If you wanna be a successful musician then you need to look like a successful musician, and that means having the proper equipment.


 I'm just playing devils advocate. I'm no music industry guru but I know a lot of bands and musicians that didn't make it and these are the reasons why.









  

Why Esteban and His Shitty Guitars Suck

So who the fuck is this guy and what's the deal with his guitars?

Esteban is actually Stephen Paul from Pittsburgh, PA.

He is the...ahem..."guitar master" (cough..cough..bullshit...cough..cough) that can be found from time-to-time peeking from beneath his black leather hat dressed up like fucking Zorro, on late night infomercials and on Home Shopping Network, trying to sell his crappy guitars. 

So how did Stephen become Esteban? 

Legend has it that he was given the name from none other than Andres Segovia who he claims to have studied with. 

In reality the only thing that's for certain is that Esteban did meet with Segovia at least once and he autographed a book for him...something he did probably thousands of times for thousands of fans.
I think it's prudent that this be known. Segovia had died before he could be questioned about Esteban. Esteban's self-proclaimed skill learned from Segovia cannot be verified since Segovia can't actually speak for himself.

According to his Wikipedia page he also studied music at Carnegie Mellon University, was involved in a car crash that left him unable to play guitar for ten years and was ultimately playing at a Hyatt Regency when he released his first album in 1991.

So what about the guitars he sells on HSN? I'll let the reviews speak for themselves.

These are actual reviews from actual people who bought actual Esteban Guitars:


Complete and utter crap I wouldn't wish on anyone. 


First, this thing was made in China. What a crock! It was basically glued together. They claimed this had a rosewood neck and on and on...no! This is basically particleboard. It's not a good guitar. It looks like crap. This wasn't solid at all. The tuners didn't do anything, more or less. The body was flimsy. What junk!  


This guitar was not set up at all, buzzing strings, frets popped up. Binding was fake, plastic, possibly even taped on. The wood looked like crap and the fret board was cardboard/particle board. How can people get away with selling people this crap. It makes no sense.


Not reliable at all. I'm embarrassed to play it in front of family or friends because of the sound and the dead frets. This Esteban guitar has no durability since it started breaking down after only 3 months of owning it, and I played it gently, having a suspicion that it wasn't made well to start with. As reliable as a dead beat dad.

The power lines in my front yard are lower than the action on this guitar...but it was the first acoustic i owned ,,now i can play anything,since my hands become a rough and concrete...most everything on this guitar is flawed 

cut my fingers on the frets. I had to spend Christmas morning in the emergency room getting stitches. The doctors looked at me like I was a complete lunatic, since I was covered in blood and paint from the fretboard, and screaming about how Esteban ruined my Christmas.

My daughter bought it. She played it for a couple weeks. Then one day I arrived home from work and there it was hanging from a tree limb minus strings. She got so ticked off that she decided to turn it into a bird house. So far after 6 weeks in the tree no birds have moved in, but there is bird crap all over it

I returned the entire package. They refunded me for two payments, but now they are using my Visa to take money out of my bank account again


So this thieving hack claims his guitar to be just as good as a Martin. Better actually, because his guitar has a built in pickup (gasp!) and the 5,000 dollar Martin that it is compared to.......doesn't!

These infomercials are aimed at the poor, innocent, naive, people who don't know shit about guitars. Unfortunate people who haven't yet been taught the lesson "you get what you pay for."

So do yourselves a favor, instead of buying an Esteban Guitar, go to your local music store and buy the cheapest guitar there because I guarantee it will be better than the Esteban Guitar.

 

The Six Types of Annoying Guitar Players

  1. The Poser

 These are guys you see hanging around coffee shops with an acoustic guitar. They can also be found on college campus quads and house parties. They pretend to play guitar, and take advantage of unsuspecting females in hopes that they'll get laid.

While most guitar players took up the instrument in hopes that it'll get them girls, the guitar player differs from the poser in that the guitarist can actually play and demonstrate skill, while the poser thinks the guitar alone will get them laid.

2. THE STRUGGLING ARTIST SINGER/SONGWRITER

These are the guys you see at open mic nights and occasionally busking on street corners, or playing at your local bar. Most people have at least one Facebook Friend who fits this profile. They are always plugging their latest self made CD, or sending you a endless stream of invites for their next open mic night appearance. These are the kind of guys that go into Guitar Center and play their own music.


3. THE SPEED DEMON

Your only tempo: Fast.
Your only level: Loud.

You are all about technique and precision. You have truly mastered your weapon and aren’t afraid to show it. However, sometimes your solos go on just a little bit too long. More to the point, subtlety is not in your dictionary. These are the guys that go into Guitar Center get hard playing super fast scales and arpeggios all day long.

I once heard a woman say that you could tell how a guy is in bed by how he plays guitar. If that's true then maybe being the fastest guitar player in the world isn't necessarily a good thing.

If you can make it through this entire Yngwie Malmsteen video you might be a speed demon. Good luck, I couldn't.

4. THE IDGAF GUITARIST

You never took a lesson in a day in your life, and you may never have touched a guitar before but that won’t stop you from rocking out. You don’t even need to know how to play. Not only do you not need skills, you don’t even need good looks. These are guys who won't even go into Guitar Center because fuck Guitar Center they're playing something they found at a Pawn Shop or a $100 Montgomery Wards guitar like Jack White because fuck it Loud and fast is what all good music is about anyway.

5. THE HOT CHICK

You'll rarely ever see these Hot Chicks with Guitars performing in person and they only ever seem to be found on Youtube with their own channels. The hot chick can resemble a wannabe Struggling Artist /Singer Songwriter.


6. THE OLD GUY

These old farts have one foot in the grave and are Knock, Knock Knocking on Heavens Door. The only reason they're attempting to learn to play is because they saw an Esteban Infomercial on TV like this one:

 

Why Guitar Center Sucks

 I don't like going to Guitar Center for the same reason I don't like going to gyms, because people are just there to show off.

 I'm not a professional musician, I'm not a show off and I'm not even that good of a guitar player. I play as a hobby for my own personal enjoyment. I don't like going to Guitar Center playing a guitar and immediately being scrutinized, and judged by the flashy super fast guitarist who can't do anything else but play fast scales, the 13 year old kid either playing Crazy Train or some Tool song over and over again, or the condescending douche sales person. 

When you walk into a Guitar Center, immediately 10 people will judge you. 5 of those people are the wandering musicians in the store, and the other 5 are salespeople figuring out how much money you might spend. That’s why if you’re dressed as a college student, you’ll get the cold shoulder, but if you’re an older man, if you’re a mom with your son, or if you just look rich, the salespeople will swarm you like vultures to a dead gazelle.

 

The Flashy Super Fast Guitarist who can't do anything but play fast scales

 

The 13 year old kid playing Crazy Train over and over again

 

The Condescending Sales Person Douche

The moment you walk in the attractive woman at the door says hello to you. By the way,  why are all of the guitar center door people attractive women? 

Then you can see the obvious levels of marketing strategy at work, lower end guitars on the bottom, high end at the top. 

At the bottom you got your Squires, Mexican Strats, Epiphone Les Pauls, Jasmine Acoustics. These are the Guitars that the parents buy for their kids on Christmas, the younger player gets when they save money, and the older person gets to try and rekindle their youth. The thing about the cheap stuff is that the companies don’t really care about it. They use cheap materials, cheap labor, and no quality control. These mass produced instruments should be used by no one. 

At middle level you got instruments which will last awhile, and still sound pretty good. I’m talking the Ibanez Prestiges, Fender American Strats and Teles, Takamine acoustics, amongst plenty of others which cost anywhere from $400-$1000. These are actually good guitars, but they don’t have the construction quality of the upper level guitars. 

Then there's the upper level. These are the instruments you’re supposed to aspire to, and they take a months pay to get. Gibson Les Pauls, Fender Player’s choice American Strats, and pretty much any guitar from 1000 to 5000 dollars. These are the instruments that the companies know you want, so Guitar Center puts them out of reach. You’re only supposed to look at these things until you can actually get one, and rarely does anyone have the brass to ask a Guitar Center sales person to reach for a $3000 Gibson Les Paul Supreme unless they have the money to afford one.

Guitar Center makes musical instruments a Corporation style event, and while you’re looking for the best instrument for yourself, they just want you to buy anything. They don’t really care if you get the best deal, really love the instrument, or if you’re getting a quality instrument. The salespeople are paid on commission.

what should be a fun hobby/joy/profession such as music, is instead turned into a car dealership buying experience. 

What Your Lame Ass Tattoo Says About You

As unique as you like to think your tattoos are, they mostly fall into a small handful of categories. Here are a few of the common types of tattoos and what they say about you.

Stars

This includes nautical stars, the outline of a star, or that lame wispy-cluster-of-stars thing on your hip. You got your emo stars because it was either that or keep cutting your wrists until your parents noticed. Happy with your choice?

Sparrows

 Aside from emo stars, the sparrows tattoo is probably the most cliché of all tattoos. For ladies, anyway. Dudes who have sparrows tattoos have bigger problems on their hands than being cliché. There are two places you can get the sparrows. The first is on your hip bones, which is a delightful way to let anyone about to get into your pants for the first time know that this territory has already been charted by the singer of a mid-level screamo band. The other place to get them is on your upper boobs, announcing to anyone who checks out your cleavage that you own three copies of Thursday’s Full Collapse.


Koi Fish

 Bro, you were like, mad in touch with nature back in the day. That’s why you got a sick, vaguely Asian-looking koi tat on your shoulder and why you always wore tank tops to show it off. You had to look good at all those Incubus and Deftones concerts you went to non-ironically, bro.


 Sailor Tattoos

 Your sailor tattoos tell people that at some point, you were into the rockabilly scene, which is not an actual genre of music, but an excuse for people to dress like extras from the movie Grease for no discernable reason. You dudes got $90 haircuts and you ladies spent obscene amounts of time searching thrift stores for the perfect retro bathing suits but then refused to go in the water.



Stretched Out Earlobes

 While not technically a tattoo, your dangly stretched out lobes are a great way to promptly gross people the fuck out. You were the kid who was willing to do literally anything to fit into the hardcore scene including getting ridiculously high gauged plugs. And as your reward, you’re now rocking a set of ears that more closely resemble Betty White’s labia.


Lyrics

 You got your lyrics tattoo because MUSIC IS YOUR LIFE, NOT LIKE ALL THOSE SHEEP WHO LISTEN TO THE RADIO. Unlike them, you really connected with the bands you listened to and wanted to immortalize that by getting their words permanently branded on you. Not sure what led you to believe that was a good idea. Maybe because the bands you liked played on a stage that was only 6 inches off the ground or because their albums had clips from Donnie Darko and American Beauty in them? The problem is that since you chose the standard illegible script font, no one can read what the fuck it says, which is probably for the best because most of them were written by a lyricist who couldn’t pass a creative writing class at a community college. (Bonus lame points if you got the lyrics in any language other than your native one *coughcoughFrench*.)


Cool Phrase Chestpiece

 If you fancy yourself a cool dude, you likely got some cool dude words across your chest. Something meaningful that defines you, not just “Livin’ La Vida Loca.” Having to face this tattoo in the mirror every morning is the equivalent of reading your high school yearbook quote on a daily basis.



 Inner Lip Tattoo

 A tattoo on the inside of your lip says that you were the kid who was still trying to please their parents well into their 20’s. You had to call home every two hours to check in. You were the least fun person to go to shows with. You got a little lip tattoo as a small act of personal rebellion. Now you are an adult whose parents pay your rent.

Face Tattoo 

 A face tattoo says that you are a completely insane person who happened to get into music.


Band Names

 You know that embarrassing old notebook of high school poetry you have in the closet of your childhood bedroom? The one where you took a marker and covered it with your favorite band names? Congratulations, that’s your skin now.

More of the Worst Musicians of All Time

THE BEATLES

It would make sense to call the Beatles a boy band except, lyrically, they fall pretty far short of the One Directions of the world. Songs like “Hello, Goodbye,” “She Loves You,” and “I Want to Hold Your Hand” could have been written by three-year-olds. It says all you need to about this group that the most famous thing they ever did was walk across a street together. FACT: “Beatlemania,” in reality, was a heavily produced marketing ploy by Brian Epstein. In short, the term “Fab Four” actually is pretty fitting regarding the group - although if we wanted to steer closer to reality, that “fab” connotes not “fabulous,” but “fabricated.”

BLACK SABBATH

Most people can name more animals that Ozzy Osbourne has bitten the head off of than actual Black Sabbath songs.

JOHNNY CASH

People think it’s cool to like Johnny Cash because unlike his contemporaries, not all of his songs were about how he wanted to fuck his sister. But if you look back at his discography, it’s a fiery garbage hole of inane alcoholic ramblings that devolves into that hack who started Def Jam convincing him it was a good idea to cover Nine Inch Nails.

CREAM / ERIC CLAPTON

White man discover guitar. White man like guitar. Guitar fun. Guitar make good noise. Cocaine!

THE DOORS

 Jim Morrison wrote a lot of poetry, and most of it was shitty, pretentious, regrettable, faux-intellectual diarrhea. But Morrison's high-school emo poetry isn't the only reason that The Doors suck. Nearly fifty years after the release of their self-titled debut album, they remain one of the most over-romanticized and over-mythologized bands of that decade. the only real influence the Doors have ever had is inspiring a generation of college freshmen dudes to learn how to play three chords on their dad’s acoustic classical guitar through ultimate-guitar.com.

MARVIN GAYE

 






How big of an asshole do you have to be to have your own dad shoot you?

WHITNEY HOUSTON

More like Shitney Houston, right?

JANIS JOPLIN

Patient Zero for the trend of white girls thinking they can sing like black women and an inducted member of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame—both unforgivable sins.

TOM PETTY

Tom Petty looks like what would happen if The Muppets made a man.

 

 

 

PINK FLOYD

Fun fact!! If you sync up Dark Side of the Moon with The Wizard of Oz, it still sounds like unlistenable horseshit. You probably went through a "Big Pink Floyd Phase" at some point in your life. Yeah this "phase" is known as Sophomore year of college when you ate mushrooms once a week. If you are past the age of say 22 you should no longer have an appreciation for Pink Floyd. Their music serves no purpose other than to serve as the soundtrack to your group tripping experience in a dark dorm room. If you are listening to a Pink Floyd album, you are only enjoying yourself if you are tripping in a dark room watching a light show. You can't throw on Dark Side of the Moon at a 4th of July BBQ and enjoy yourself.

RADIOHEAD

 Radiohead, the kings nerdy, boring, tuneless rock music, are on top of the world. They’ve proven time and time again that they can piss directly into your open mouths, and you’ll frolic and gargle in the yellow stream like God himself was giving you a nectar-bath. Loathsome pseudo-intellectual college boys used to have ponytails; now they have Radiohead. God help you, you stupid, gullible infants.

 

 

SONIC YOUTH

Sonic Youth albums aren’t as popular now as they were in the days of cassettes. That’s because now it’s a lot easier to say, “Hey this song is going fucking nowhere, skip it.” Every single Sonic Youth song is a “skip it” song. Every single one. Unless, of course, you enjoy hearing Thurston Moore sound like he’s dicking around with effects pedals at Guitar Center.

STEVIE WONDER/RAY CHARLES

Pretty sure the history books only need one blind dude playing boring songs on piano. So one of them sucks, the other is redundant. You pick.

WU-TANG CLAN

Oh cool, a bunch of nerds rapping about kung-fu. Shaolin’s probably not even a real place.